Updated as of March 23, 2023
Love languages describe the various ways that people express and experience love in intimate relationships. Gary Chapman popularized the idea of “love languages” in his book “The Five Love Languages,” which contends that everyone has unique preferences and ways of experiencing love.
Knowing your partner’s love languages can enrich your relationship by enabling you to communicate in a way that your partner finds most meaningful and understandable. On the other hand, discovering your own primary love language can help you better understand yourself and precisely what you want to receive to be able to not feel disconnected in your relationships with others around you.
Ever wondered about the five different love languages as popularized by Gary Chapman? Create a lasting relationship by learning different ways to express love. Discover your primary love language and your partner’s primary love language to respond in a way that reaches them the most and put it into practice as actions speak louder than words!
Know more about your partner’s primary love language
Each person has their own way to receive love differently. Have a better understanding of the 5 love languages as recommended by most marriage and family therapist as these five love languages allow you to create healthier relationships with your partner and others.
Don’t know which love language is your primary love language? Take an online quiz and find out more about it. Fill up your love tank by knowing what actually is to be poured in order to fill it in.
In marriage, friendship, and other personal relationships, learn how to make meaningful connections that will be deeply appreciated. No matter what their love languages are, be able to reciprocate that feeling of love and respect through different acts.
Words of affirmation
Being able to communicate your love, respect, and appreciation is the definition of words of affirmation. The love language, words of affirmation, takes consideration of kind words that have the intent of care and affection. A simple compliment or words of appreciation would go a long way. If your partner’s love language is this, they’d love to hear that uplifting message from you.
Expressing love by saying the words “I appreciate you” during random moments. Or compliment them by telling them “You looked really nice today”. Simple I love you’s would also be able to really make their day. By showering your loved ones with words of affirmation, you let them feel cherished.
Strengthen your bonds by expressing love the same way they’d also do to you.
Acts of service
For those whose primary love language is acts of service, they’d appreciate small and big gestures. Being able to help your partner in these simple acts of service is already enough.
What can you do for acts of service? Ask yourself, how do you feel when your partner helps you with tasks that help reduce your burden or ease your stress?
Think: let them feel loved and adored by the things you are willing to do for them. For example, dropping them off to work in the morning. Clean the condo so your partner can relax after a long day of work. On special occasions, you could also be able to make them feel loved by planning your date night. Spend time together by doing simple errands that would make them go home with a smile on their face with a bubbly feeling of accomplishment through understanding each other’s love language, specifically in acts of service. How about doing some chores to fix up your house and lot.
Receiving Gifts
The love language of receiving gifts doesn’t mean you’re necessarily materialistic. People whose love language receiving gifts and gift giving usually like to put it in a sense of a “thoughtful gift” that serves as a token of appreciation or something that just reminds them of you.
These are tangible and intangible items that make you feel appreciated or noticed. It doesn’t have to be an expensive gift, an example of thoughtful gifts are love letters, flowers, or even just a meaningful concept like creating your own printed-out “coupons” that offer a service like “homemade dinner for 2” or anything that’ll make your partner feel loved.
To individuals who prefer this love language, the absence of everyday gestures or a missed special occasion is particularly hurtful which is why it is important to understand the love language theory in order for you to understand another’s love language especially if you don’t have the same love language. Being able to understand each other’s love languages will definitely make for healthy relationships.
Quality time
Spending quality time with your loved ones goes beyond just being there physically. Do something that the both of you will actually enjoy. Try activities such as a walk after dinner or watching your favorite TV series with a bowl of popcorn at your lovely home. It’s all about giving undivided attention to your partner.
Most romantic relationships in life would start with quality time. Being constantly there and spending time together is what actually starts the romance. Being able to be in the moment, giving them your undivided attention allows you to create deeper bonds with your significant other. This would probably be one of the best gifts that they could ever ask for. A person who loves quality time would most likely also reflect on how they also spend time with their friends.
Physical Touch
Physical expressions of love such as holding hands, cuddling, caressing their hair, or a sweet peck on the cheek.
Physical affection and physical contact have a thin line to it. For those who crave for physical touch as their love language, they’d love spending time with you. For them it is truly how “actions speak louder than words”. Spending quality time with them and being affectionate with them by giving them appropriate physical touch, will be of a big boost for them. Even keeping eye contact with them shows that you’re present and gives a deeper meaning than words could ever do.
This love language is very versatile as it could be mixed with the other love languages. Such as holding hands while doing errands, there are physical touch and acts of service involved plus quality time. Receiving gifts won’t be needed when you’re already giving your partner the love language that will matter to them.
Knowing your love language is the key to building a lasting relationship. If you really care and respect your partner, take time to acquaint yourself with your love language and theirs. Start thinking about how you like to gift, give, and receive love. What makes you feel loved and cared for because this is the true essence of love. Even those couples in marriage would attest to that. Being able to make time to learn these will be truly appreciated and each action will be deemed as meaningful for them. It is simply knowing how to express it and learning to speak your partner’s love language.
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